"After losing Mom to heart failure in 2004, I remember thinking how dare life go on as if nothing had happened. The days were gorgeous, the skies were blue - nothing seemed changed - each day's routine an unflappable reminder that we are so small in the scheme of things. Yet, we are one another's world - and that is quite a thing to conceive.
When I am photographing the flowers in Ptown or Norwalk - I am trying to capture the deliciousness of the moment - the flowers' dew, the fragrance, the way the light falls - I'm trying to capture the feeling, taste, smell, and vision - If I capture it to my satisfaction and I print it out - the photo doesn't do justice to the moment. I cannot return to recapture what I was grasping for - how can I recapture it?
When I look back over the shot on screen - I must be still to allow the miracle of memory come into bloom - Ah, Remember...
Remember - I am with you always - even to the end of the earth.
At a younger age, my faith was like the morning dew on the lily in the garden that draws me in. I do try and hold onto it, an amazing faith that empowered me & seemed to encourage others. My faith has it's own gifts and lessons that come. It's awake at times and at other times asleep. There are days, weeks even, when faith seems to go on a journey and getting lost leaving me to wander seemingly alone for too long.
In my 20's I was cocky and positive of what I knew . Oh I knew that I knew.
With time, memory fades and so do the powerful emotions of youth - along with a bit of estrogen - the I know that I know is still within - but I also know I don't know squat compared to what there is to learn. Sound confusing? Yeah, grieving is like that for me. I get all these words and ideas in my head and they scream to be let out." ~ Denise Costabile
