As a kid, I was little
Miss Christmas excited and bursting with energy throughout the entire
preholiday season. I was never able to sleep on Christmas Eve - until I had 2
children of my own who could not sleep on Christmas Eve either - and then,
well, all I wanted was a little shut eye. Mom was aware that I had lost
my enthusiasm about Christmastime for reasons I will not go into here.
Christmastime in early
2000's, Mama wanted me to come over and listen to a short poem she'd come
across - she wanted to read it to me. I would not let her. I was
not in the mood - I do not think we even had a tree up that year. Anyway,
I grew to regret my mood and my decision to pass up the offer of sharing an 8
minute poem with her.
In September of 2004,
after her funeral while cleaning out her things I came across cassette tape of that poem she wanted to share with me that Christmastime. I brought the tape home and
put it aside to listen to some other time when I wasn't feeling so
bereft. As fate often does, fate
had her way leading me to the cassette days before Christmas. I sat down with a cup of tea and
listened to the poem she wanted me to hear. With tears streaming down my face I listened to the poem read by the author. Thanks to someone on YouTube I found a video to share with you at then end of this post.
Lesson: It is never too late to turn around and change a wrong we have done to another or to ourselves. We all make mistakes. This is my amends to my Mom 8 years after she passed and an amends to myself. Mama, I love and I miss you. I wish I could have listened to you reading that poem to me. Now, it's time to forgive myself. I know that you understood and forgave me long ago.
It
takes a few minutes but is well worth your time.
1 comment:
Thank you, Denise, for sharing this lovely poem read by the author. I always think that when an author reads their own poem it gives it such tenderness. And I know your mom forgave you long ago and she is delighted you have also given up your regrets and embraced this opportunity to send the poem to others. Please let us know when you add another memory to your blog, I'd like to keep in touch. (Not sure what signature this will sign with~ but it's me in the Mojave. Hugs !)
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