A Cup of Christmas

As a kid, I was little Miss Christmas excited and bursting with energy throughout the entire preholiday season. I was never able to sleep on Christmas Eve - until I had 2 children of my own who could not sleep on Christmas Eve either - and then, well, all I wanted was a little shut eye.  Mom was aware that I had lost my enthusiasm about Christmastime for reasons I will not go into here.

Christmastime in early 2000's, Mama wanted me to come over and listen to a short poem she'd come across - she wanted to read it to me.  I would not let her.  I was not in the mood - I do not think we even had a tree up that year.  Anyway, I grew to regret my mood and my decision to pass up the offer of sharing an 8 minute poem with her.  

In September of 2004, after her funeral while cleaning out her things I came across cassette tape of that poem she wanted to share with me that Christmastime. I brought the tape home and put it aside to listen to some other time when I wasn't feeling so bereft.  As fate often does, fate had her way leading me to the cassette days before Christmas. I sat down with a cup of tea and listened to the poem she wanted me to hear.  With tears streaming down my face I listened to the poem read by the author. Thanks to someone on YouTube I found a video to share with you at then end of this post. 

Lesson:  It is never too late to turn around and change a wrong we have done to another or to ourselves.  We all make mistakes. This is my amends to my Mom 8 years after she passed and an amends to myself.  Mama, I love and I miss you.  I wish I could have listened to you reading that poem to me. Now, it's time to forgive myself. I know that you understood and forgave me long ago.  

By sharing this personal conversation on my blog, I have some lovely Christmastime memories springing up that I may tell you about in the days ahead.  Please let me know if you'd like me to! Merry Christmas! 

A Cup of Christmas Tea by Tom Hegg

It takes a few minutes but is well worth your time. 

Diabetes Art Day

September 24, 2012 is Diabetes Art Day -

 

This is a photograph of my submission for 2012 Diabetes Art Day Project. I will upload it to the site listed below on 9/24. The drawing doesn't have a name - yet. The inspiration came from reflecting on a single morning's routine BG test. The numbers became a one day diabetes obsession for me.

(Yesterday) When I woke up, my BG (blood glucose) was 141. Since I forgot to take my medicine right away I found the number rose quickly to 161 within an hour! Two hours after I ate breakfast and took my 1,000 mg of Metformin along with a potpourri of other medications to protect me from Type 2 Diabetes, everything seemed right again - at 118. Ah...... When I saw the 118 number appear on the monitor, the vision came to me for this drawing. I spent a long time on this thoroughly enjoying the creative process. By day’s end numbers were whack again but I work at keeping tight control. It is one obsession in my life that I welcome. My numbers usually do not go above 140 unless I've wandered from a food plan or physical activity. When the numbers have risen in the past it meant stress or that I am brewing an infection. I don't know what the reason for the number this week - Could this be from last week's scare over our dog, Baby Blue?  I will let you know if I figure it out. It is quite possible that I'll never know. Even so, I am grateful for the journey - and for the inspiration for my 2012 submission for Diabetes Art Day.

www.diabetesartday.com

Are You Sitting Yourself to Death?

I started this blog entry a few months ago:
" I have been home sick for several days -and sitting a lot. It is hard to break out into a jog but there's no excuse for my sedentary lifestyle.  I easily give in to feeling tired, putting my feet up and reading or surfing the web.  Come on, I have to get up and move!"

I typed that out and hit "SAVE" button before I took a nap.  It was a rainy Saturday - some days a nap is a good thing.  Not that day.  I was not in the mood to do anything I was depressed.

Depressed feelings and inactivity go hand in hand for me.  I am coming up with a list of ideas to help me to get off my ahem at least 5 days a week - this way, when I am in another rut, I can have the list to turn to and perhaps bring myself out of a slump before it get to be too much.

Some Notes to Self When Your Get Up And Go - Got Up And Went

A Facebook Status update to local friends:  "Anybody want to meet up to go for a walk with me?"

Steer clear of folks who bring you down. Instead, grab that list of friends who encourage and inspire you.
Make up list before you need it!  Place it in specific place so it is there when you need it.

Since I usually can't sit still to music with a good beat, I remember to ask - Is there a new song out there that sets your feet to dancing with happy feet?

How can you know if you haven't checked out iTunes or Amazon lately? Go online and download a new MP3 with a good beat that will get you moving.  Play it and rock, walk, dance to it until you can sing along - with every word.  It's fun to learn a new song.

Put on the pedometer and see how many aerobic steps you can rack up on the counter and at the end of the day see how many steps you have taken.  Remember how great it feels to accomplish small goals.  Start at 10 or 15 minutes today and see where it takes you after 5 days.

I'll tell you that my favorite place in the world to walk is in Provincetown, MA - but there are plenty of places where I feel free, or safe, or excited to take a walk.  Who knows, if I follow my own advice and if you do too, we may find ourselves surprised and inspired enough to not sit ourselves to death!

Now.... ready, set, go!

I'm No Victim

My blood glucose levels depend on my body's reaction to the insulin my pancreas produces or does not produce, I can't control that.

I can control what I chose to eat. I can control what I put in the cart when I go to the grocery store and where I chose eat when I eat out. I can control when I chose to exercise, what kind of exercise to do and when I choose to sit on the sofa and watch TV instead.

I may be a "victim" of type 2 diabetes, but I am a diabetic who works at controlling the blood glucose levels of sugar in my blood. I pay attention. I educate myself, I follow up with medical checks.

Do I get tired of being careful?  You bet.  Do I wander from the path some times?  Yes.  But, more days than not, more meals than not, I work at healthy living with my diabetes. 

Eating healthy, walking, working out, taking medication are conscious choices -- all go into the mix of self-care.  My BG levels fluctuate.  I am asked to keep the level below 140 mg at the two hour mark (after a meal) and I work hard at it.  If I have a piece of pie or an extra fruit and my number goes up, I take responsibility for my choices and I go for a walk for 20 - 30 additional minutes.  That my friends is how it is done. ♥ 

If I forget this and start to complain about type 2 diabetes, remind me to read my own blog posts! 

First Friday in December

Since Thanksgiving, I have been self-sabotaging with poor food choices.  I am trying to lighten my days by "enjoying food" more.  I start the day out well but as morning turns to afternoon and the sun sets in the west things go haywire.  Each day in December finds darkness falling earlier.  Tonight I refused to forage in the kitchen for something to lift me my mood. I get it.  I miss the 5 o'clock visits from neighbors who stop by to visit baby blue while walking their dogs. I am missing daylight and my neighbors!

What can a person do to avoid sinking into a winter solstice depression that slows a person down until spring?  Here are a few things I am trying this December.  Yesterday at 4:30 I went to the gym to work out on the machines for a while.  I scheduled several sessions with a trainer for the hour when I am most tempted to eat the wrong things.  This morning I woke up with a blood glucose level of 159 (high for me). So I immediately put on some music and started to dance while I waited for my tea water to boil.  I have downloaded some 5 and 6 minute songs to my iPod.  Move to 2 songs in that set and I've gotten a good start to my cardio work for the day.  Dance to 3 songs and I'm half way to the recommended "dose" of PA (Physical Activity) for the day.

This morning I had a date with 5 girlfriends - we met up at the gym's pool for the Aqua-fit class. I felt wonderful this morning for having worked out.  We promised one another to meet up again at the gym on Monday morning too.

I came back to my office and spent the rest of the day feeling good knowing that I had succeeded in self care today - then the sun started to set.  I went hunting in the kitchen and found something that would serve me better had I given it away last night when company was leaving.  I enjoyed a brownie, no two brownies with a cup of coffee.  I wanted more.  I knew should not be going back into the kitchen for more and it took everything I had to stop the cycle that had started.  Brushing my teeth put a stop to the taste of chocolate that had triggered me to behave as if I did not have a condition extremely sensitive to carbohydrates.  It's interesting that an apple never leaves me feeling like I want to eat several more!

People take vacations from food plans. Parties and meals out give me all kinds of excuses to deviate from a healthy minded menu.  However, my diabetes never vacations. In fact, it will not appreciate being treated with ill regard during the season of short days and cold winter nights.

Creativity helps me get back on track.  So, I went to my office to cut card stock for Christmas Cards I have been making.  It was a good diversion that kept me out of the kitchen. After finishing with the card stock I turned to my blog.  It has been weeks since my last entry.   Dinner is ready.  I used the crock pot to make a soup from winter vegetables and a few bits of left over ham adding a can of beans for extra protein and fiber.  The soup is delicious.  I know because I taste tested it.  And it will not raise my BG level.